A real pain in the bum?

This is a fairly difficult and emotional blog to write. Even more so when I'm not sure whether it'll have a happy or sad ending. Pain is something everyone has experienced and something which I find fascinating. My experiences with pain are way too much to write about in this one blog but I thought i'd share this start of a short story, if only to make people aware of the multi-faceted and complex nature that pain has.

It begins like this. I arrived back from Portugal feeling a lot more confident; 2.35 seemed a lot more likely. Then, suddenly, a couple of days after I got back, my butt started to hurt...I literally developed a pain in the bum...and it's been there ever since.

Some advice I have received on dealing with pain is to try and see it as an interested observer. It's a great technique and one that if I employ, I do actually see my 'pain' as mildly amusing. Given my interest in pain's complex nature and how the mind can create, modify and relieve pain, I'd think that literally having a 'pain in the bum' was a great metaphor. My sore ar** has caused my sense of humour to go on a bit of a run so it's a bit lost on me currently.

If anyone is interested in the pain and the brain, I'd urge you to watch this Ted Talk. It's fantastic and one of my favorites. Lorimer Moseley does a much better job of explaining how the mind can create pain than I could.

This is a fantastic article on pain, which I also find very interesting.

Here's how I see it; Pain can entirely be created by your mind and the level of your pain is not directly correlated to the level of tissue damage. 'Pain receptors' at the tissue level are modified by many influences; these could be your 'fear' about the pain, the 'value of the pain' (i.e. what consequences the pain has for you) and the attention you are paying the area. Here's a good example; a pianist who breaks their finger might experience a lot more pain with it than someone who has the same injury but perhaps doesn't use their hands much for their job.

Having been a runner for most of my life I can with absolute certainty say that I have experienced this effect many times. I've had 'injuries' that have miraculously felt better after being told it was 'nothing serious'. I've had stomach aches, headaches, back aches, all related to stress and anxiety at certain times in my life. I don't need convincing that the brain can be solely responsible for pain in the absence of tissue damage.

However, I'm sure you can see that this creates a bit of a problem for a runner...we push our bodies to the limits...is the pain the result of some self-induced tissue damage or is it linked to fear and anxiety? For me, is my current pain minor irritation made worse by taper - induced paranoia? Or have I done some damage, which I could make a lot worse by running London?

So, this leaves me in one of my least favorite places...limbo. My next step is to get it checked out by my awesome physiotherapist on Monday...someone who fully appreciates the impact stress can have on the body. Hopefully, this will shed some light on whether there is actually something to worry about. I guess i'll have to wait and see if he can get to the bottom of it...